I decided to muse over invitations when my wife and I received an invitation on glossy paper with embossed printing and specially addressed in professional calligraphy. It looked as if we were being invited to a national function at State House. It was in fact an invitation from a relative for a family function, an invitation that could have been done with a telephone call. This incident set me thinking about what drives people to spend so much money on conveyance of a message requesting one’s attendance to a function. I wondered why these messages must be impressively packaged. Is it a show of “social class”, or a demonstration of “having money” or to motivate the person being invited to accept the invitation? I asked myself “What is an invitation?” setting myself off to an investigation spree.
Invitations have evolved over time from verbal announcements to elaborately printed and digital formats. Across different cultures, the way people invite guests to events, particularly weddings, reflects their traditions, social structures, and technological advancements. While the primary purpose of an invitation remains to formally request attendance, its style and delivery have changed significantly.
As I read about invitations and thought more about them, it dawned on me that an invitation is more than just a request to attend an event. An invitation, in any form, communicates inclusion, appreciation, respect, recognition, connection, and inclusion. Whether formal or informal, grand or simple, being invited to a gathering, especially a major life event like a wedding, graduation, or cultural ceremony, carries deep emotional and social significance. Being invited can shape how we view ourselves and our place in the lives of others. It places the person or persons inviting into a social spotlight. In every sense, invitations help stitch the fabric of human connection.
An invitation should, under normal circumstances, be an indication that the person invited is important enough to be part of the function. This is not always the case. Some invitations to high-end events are solicited, some are obligatorily made, some are made in a flattering sarcastic or cynical way, or mockingly. The Baganda have a saying: “Atamanyi kukiinibwa, bwe bamuyita okulya nga anaaba mungalo” [A person who doesn’t understand sarcasm eagerly accepts a mocking invitation to a meal.] This is because as a gesture of hospitality of the Baganda, it is customary to invite someone to join you when you’re found eating even though they are not expected to accept the offer.A genuine invitation normally implies that the presence of the person being invited matters. For a social gathering it can be a confirmation that the relationship of the invitee with the host is valued. In professional contexts, receiving an invitation to a meeting, event, or ceremony can indicate respect, trust, or recognition that you professionally fit into the group of fellow professionals.
Receiving (or not receiving) an invitation can impact mental and emotional state of social hobnobs. An invitation can boost their confidence, joy, and self-worth. Conversely, being excluded can make them feel rejected, hurt, or downright low self-esteem.
This brings me back to the question: “What is an invitation?”. An invitation can be any of the following: command, lure, offer, request, summons, temptation, or trap depending on the circumstances or intentions. A reckless action can also be referred to as an invitation to injury or accident or ridicule.
Commands can be couched as invitations when the speaker wants to soften the tone, encourage cooperation, or appear polite or inclusive, while still expecting compliance. This is especially common in social, professional, or diplomatic settings. Instead of commanding the listeners to “Wait for the leader’s recommendations”, an invitation-style approach would be to say, “Why don’t you wait for the leader’s guidance”? When in a position of power, commands can be expressed as invitations to seem approachable. For example, instead of saying: “You have to attend the meeting.” you say: “It will be good if you attend the meeting.”
An invitational approach can be used manipulatively to mask the true nature of the command, giving the illusion of choice. Instead of commanding: “Go ahead and explain yourself.” An invitation is made as “Care to explain what happened?”
I remember, when I was being expelled from my boarding secondary school, the headmaster requesting or “inviting” me not to return to the school for five years for, as he put it, the good running of the school. He was making it sound as if it was a mutually agreed on strategy for the running of the school. Being as good as I was, (forget the reasons for being expelled) he said he would arrange for me to join another academic institution and was good to his promise. There is more of this in my musing on “A bit of school history”.
As a lure, we are bombarded by “invitations” to try this or that product or merchandise nudging customers toward action without pushiness, suggesting benefits rather than obligations. The strategy influences psychology. It makes the customers feel in control, even though the language is guiding them in the direction the seller wants them to go. To buy the merchandise.
In verbal invitations, tone and intention carry more weight than literal meaning. In leadership, education, or facilitation settings an invitational tone makes people feel involved encouraging participation. In delicate situations, especially where authority is balanced, phrasing a directive as an invitation preserves harmony diplomatically with tact. I put invitational tone in the same category as a reconciliation voice in an argument where saying “Sorry” defuses a situation.
In African cultures, at least in Sub-Saharan Africa, there are functions for which no invitations are issued. For example, funerals. Unlike in so called Western cultures where people are invited to funerals, in Africa when people receive information of a death, it is up to them to assess their obligations to attend the funeral functions. For joyous events an invitation is not merely a request to attend an event, it is a cultural act steeped in tradition, respect, and community responsibility. Across the continent’s diverse ethnic groups, invitations reflect a powerful sense of belonging and shared identity, and they differ in important ways from the formal, often exclusive style common in European cultures.
African invitation customs remind us that attending an event is not just about being on a list of people being invited, it’s about participating in a shared cultural life. Invitations are not just a request to attend an event; they are an act of interpersonal endorsement. Who invites you, how you are invited, and how you respond can reflect respect, status, and kinship. Whether through the sharing of gifts or simply showing up uninvited to support your neighbour for a community event, the emphasis is always on togetherness, respect, and belonging. In European cultures requests for acknowledging and responding to invitations, marked by “RSVP” (réponde s’il vous plait), are expected to be honoured, in Uganda it is normally ignored may be because not many people know what it stands for.
I respect the time stated in an invitation as the start of the function I am invited to. I am frequently irritated by looking like an early arrival by keeping the stated time. I have failed to accept functions with flexible start time and open-ended end time. Old people are easily irritated by what may look like trivial issues.
In religious traditions around the world, invitations are sacred gestures that carry deep spiritual and cultural meaning. Whether it’s a call to prayer, a summons to a holy pilgrimage, or an invitation to participate in a sacred rite of passage, these messages often embody the values, beliefs, and communal identities of the faith of the communities that send them. Invitations in a religious context serve purposes that go beyond simply informing individuals about the time and place of an event. They carry symbolic, spiritual, and communal significance, often representing a call not just to attend, but to participate in something sacred.
In Christianity, Jesus’ invitation “Come, follow me” (Matthew 4:19, Mark 1:17) was not just a call to physical movement but an invitation to discipleship, life transformation, and mission. By accepting it, the disciples left their previous lives behind to pursue a new spiritual journey. Another invitation by Jesus in Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” is deeply spiritual and compassionate. It reflects Jesus’ role as a spiritual healer and source of peace. It also demonstrates how an invitation can be an offer of grace, rest, and salvation.
Reading about Islam, I learnt that the Adhan (call to prayer) is both an invitation and a reminder of one’s spiritual obligations to God. Religious invitations are full of symbolism. They don’t just open doors to events; they open hearts to spiritual experience, community, transformation, and divine presence. Invitation for holy communion with phrases such as: “all who are baptized and believe in Jesus are invited to the Lord’s Table” emphasizes the inclusive but sacred nature of the invitation.
We are guided by theologians that in both Christianity and Islam, invitations are spiritually significant acts, not just logistical ones. While Christianity emphasizes personal transformation, grace, and relationship with Christ, Islam emphasizes submission to God, obedience, and community cohesion. In both, inviting and accepting invitations is seen as a religious duty and blessing.
In evangelical settings, an altar call is a moment when individuals are invited to step forward publicly to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. This can be an embarrassment to the caller when no one steps forward. I have seen what would have been a religious call turn into a confrontation with the congregation.
Religious invitations often reinforce social and spiritual bonds as Rotary does with social and community service.
I cannot invite you to read this blog since you have already read it up to here. I am, though, inviting you to read my other blogs not for spiritual reasons and not as a command but for pleasure and have a glimpse on how this old man’s mind works.
Thank you for being part of the Fork in the Road Blogs: Reflections on Life. Be sure to look out for the next episode when I will be writing about Hunger. If you gathered something useful, please feel free to share the podcast. My books, Fork in the Road: Creating a future of value starting from where you are and A view round the bend. Setting goals for your life’s journey are available for purchase at Aristoc bookshops in Kampala, Uganda and online at Amazon.
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