Happiness

When I am happy, I am happy and very rarely do I stop to analyze that pleasurable feeling. Happiness is a complex and subjective emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, contentment, satisfaction, and overall well-being. Its intensity, mode of expression, duration etc. are influenced by factors such as triggering conditions, prevailing temperament and environment, personal and cultural values etc. Not all people find, or express, happiness similarly. While happiness can be influenced by external factors, it is also deeply rooted in internal perceptions and attitudes. Overall, happiness is a multifaceted concept that varies from person to person and can be understood and experienced in diverse ways. We react to those stimuli in personalized ways.

We express happiness from infancy smiling and gurgling with pleasure at people around us, especially those that feed us. One of the most beautiful sounds to me is the laughter of young children. They laugh with abandon and utter innocence. When I hear it I feel happy with them.

Eyes are the best window of happiness. We have seen sinister looking people smiling with dagger projecting eyes. This is called a false smile. We have also seen non-smiling faces but with eyes full of gentleness and inviting for a happy interaction.

Happiness does not mean laughing all the time. Deep happiness is an inner feeling of contentment and “being in love” with the environment, human or otherwise. Overall, happiness is a multifaceted concept that varies from person to person and can be understood and experienced in diverse ways. It may be through achieving personal goals, cultivating meaningful relationships, engaging in enjoyable activities, experiencing moments of gratitude, or finding a sense of purpose and fulfillment in life.

Can happiness be taught? I think the answer depends on what we mean by taught or teaching. Happiness can be cultivated and learned through various practices and habits. While some individuals may have a natural predisposition towards happiness, there are suggestions that happiness is also influenced by factors within our control, such as attitude, behavior, and lifestyle choices. Happiness, having contentment without an overburden of worries, can be taught, not the classroom type of teaching, or cultivated by setting realistic achievable goals that align with one’s values and interests. In other words, be contented through having clear goals and a focused purpose.

Taking care of one’s physical health through regular exercise, nutritious diet, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques are believed to have a significant impact on mood and a feeling of “goodness” which is one of the yardsticks of happiness. These are lifestyle measures used to cultivate happiness. I like outdoors walking and after an hour or an hour and half of brisk walking using the one-minute walking track in my house compound, I feel good. I feel exhausted but relaxed and internally happy.

Happiness can be cultivated through engaging in acts of kindness and selflessness by promoting a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Whether it’s volunteering, helping a friend in need, or simply offering a kind word or gesture, acts of kindness contribute to greater happiness for both the giver and receiver.

The “glass is half full” people have a positive outlook to life involving reframing negative thoughts and focusing on solutions rather than problems. Adopting an optimistic belief can contribute to greater happiness and resilience in the face of adversity.
Expressing gratitude involves focusing on the positive aspects of life and appreciating the good things, no matter how small. It is difficult to say “Thank you” when angry unless one is cynical. I believe that regularly expressing gratitude to others can increase feelings of happiness and well-being as mentioned musing over “Sorry and Thank you”.

There are different levels and types of happiness, each with its own characteristics and sources. The different types of happiness are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, what makes me happy may not necessarily bring happiness to you, highlighting the subjective nature of happiness dependent on personal differences and preferences. For example, while we generally associate tears with sadness, we also shed tears of joy.

Transient or temporary happiness is often linked to specific events or experiences, such as receiving good news, celebrating achievements, or enjoying pleasurable activities.

There is the deep enduring happiness, for which one feels a persistent sense of well-being and contentment, unaffected by external events or circumstances. It is characterized by a general sense of satisfaction with life, positive emotions, and an overall feeling of resilience in the face of adversity. This is the happiness I have because of the way my children have turned up in life despite the challenges they might have had.

Then there is the fulfilling happiness that comes from living in accordance with one’s values, pursuing and achieving meaningful goals, and engaging in activities that contribute to personal wellbeing and self-realization. Self-realization as I mused over “What is my purpose in life?” is often associated with a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in life. I would call this type of happiness a cousin of the deep enduring happiness.

Then there is happiness I categorize as shallow or fake. It is based on the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. It involves seeking out enjoyable experiences, such as indulging in good living. Going back to my musing on “Hooks and ladders”, it is like climbing a ladder with crumbling rungs. While this type of happiness can contribute to short-term enjoyment, it may not necessarily lead to long-term fulfillment or well-being. Have you ever heard of Jesus’ parable of the house built on sand?

When I think of happiness I cannot help not thinking of pain. The two life feelings are essentially at pole ends of each other and yet they can be associated in subtle ways. Happiness and pain are both complex emotional experiences that can coexist. Happiness does not necessarily mean absence of pain, and experiencing pain does not mean lack of happiness. It is also possible to feel moments of happiness or joy alongside feelings of sadness, grief, or pain. I have had relatives and friends telling me that while they were in a lot of physical pain, they were happy they had loving children and friends looking after them.

Ultimately, the relationship between pain and happiness is highly individualized and influenced by various factors such as individual personality, coping mechanisms, and life experiences. Here are a few ways in which pain and happiness can be intertwined.
Experiencing pain or suffering can enhance one’s appreciation of moments of happiness and well-being. Going through challenging times can make positive experiences feel more meaningful and precious, as they provide contrast to the difficulties one has faced.

It is possible to derive happiness through finding meaning and purpose because of pain or adversity. Compassion for those in pain or suffering can deepen interpersonal connections, which are important for happiness and well-being. Helping others in times of need or providing support and comfort can bring a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. You say to yourself “I am happy I am around to provide the needed support and comfort”. This was the feeling I had with my friend I could not say “goodbye” to in my musing on “Goodbye”.

Happiness and pain may not only be associated but can coexist within an individual. This coexistence is often referred to as experiencing “mixed emotions”. Embracing the complexity of emotions and learning to navigate the interplay between happiness and pain can contribute to a deeper understanding of oneself and a richer experience of life, understanding one’s purpose in life.

There are situations in life where positive and negative emotions are intertwined, creating a bittersweet, emotional, experience. For example, celebrating a loved one’s achievements while also feeling sadness because they will be moving away because of the achievements.

Reflecting on past experiences, even those that were painful or difficult at the time, can evoke feelings of longing and a sense of happiness or warmth. While the memory may contain elements of pain, it can also bring a sense of appreciation for the journey and the lessons learned. An issue touched on in my book “A view round the bend”.

I leave you with Bobby McFerrin’s words in his 1988 “little song”: Don’t Worry, Be Happy
“Don’t worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy now”

Thank you for being part of the Fork in the Road Blogs: Reflections on Life. Be sure to look out for the next episode when I will be writing about Being alone and loneliness. If you gathered something useful, please feel free to share the blog. My books, Fork in the Road: Creating a future of value starting from where you are and A view round the bend. Setting goals for your life’s journey are available for purchase at Aristoc bookshops in Kampala, Uganda and online at Amazon.

Your comments on my musings are most welcome and let me know whether there is a topic you would like me to muse over.