50th Golden Wedding Anniversary

An event of high significance to me and my wife happened recently, for which we were virtually pinching ourselves to prove that it was true. The event was our 50th wedding anniversary. On that day of our 50th anniversary we looked back through the 50 years and wondered how, but by the Grace of God, we had made it. During those intervening years many married couples of relatives and friends had not lived together for so long. Most, not by choice but by circumstances, by losing their spouses. Our parents did not live as long together and yet to us they looked as having been together all their lives because they had been together all our lives. While we had been marking our wedding anniversaries over the years: the 10th, 20th, 25th etc. the 50th held a special significance because we seemed to stand out among many of our married relatives and friends. It is a rare anniversary just as all subsequent anniversaries are increasingly rarer.

The 50th golden wedding anniversary is one of the most venerable milestones in married life. And rightly so, as it is a rare celebration for any couple. It is said that the 50th wedding anniversary symbol is appropriately gold because gold is beautiful, strong, and resistant to corrosion. These qualities are said to be essential for a marriage to last for 50 years.

There is a big difference between turning 50 and marking 50 years in marriage. Reaching the age of 50, or any age for that matter, is a natural process of growing up. Marking a wedding anniversary implies additional years of life before the wedding took place. In other words, there is an aging implication. Therefore, in the case of 50th wedding anniversary, relative longevity is implied. The golden wedding anniversary remains an outstanding statement of the possibility of marriage being durable despite the buffeting circumstances over that long period.

Some people cannot contemplate living with someone for extended periods. It is not that they do not want to be married but they simply cannot live with one person for years and years. They end up having serial marriages. Significant wedding anniversaries are not for them. I am not musing over the pros and cons of marriage. I am simply reflecting on the realities of mutual legal unions, their durability and fickleness.

Marriage that can go on for 50 years starts with the young people deciding to get married. They are usually in their late teen-years to early 20s. In other words, it starts as a union between very young people still growing up and discovering themselves. As the years roll on, they discover who they are and may find that they are not compatible with each other. That self-discovery can mean the end of the journey to wedding anniversaries. If, on the other hand, they find that they are compatible with each other, and this compatibility continues with each passing year, they celebrate marital milestones and, with longevity, can reach the 50th year milestone. One may ask whether it is fair to commit such young people to sign the type of contract signed in the church with caveats that it cannot be terminated under any conditions except death. On one hand, one may argue that young people should not be left, or encouraged, to marry, start a family and then simply walk away from each other at the smallest occurrence of discord without thinking about the responsibilities they have for the children (when they have children). On the other hand, should couples remain in virtual prison of an unhappy marriage because of children? That is where legal separation and divorce come in to save the situation.

I married my wife when I was thirty-two, an age some might have found to be advanced in 1972 Uganda. My wife was a few years younger. I was mature and I had a reasonable idea of what my life was going to be. It is difficult to decide how your marriage is going to be before you even know who your partner is going to be. We have been lucky that the natural life buffeting circumstances did not put an end to our marriage and both of us have remained alive as well.

My advice to any couple in a marital union is to take each year as it comes. Celebrate your anniversaries as they occur. You never know which will be the last. Do not wait for the “major” ones such as 10th or 25th or 50th. By the Grace of God, we woke up on 11th September 2022 and it dawned on us that we had been living together for 50 years. We enjoyed our 50th wedding anniversary with a few friends and family members who had been with us during those 50 years. Any future anniversaries will be a bonus. Cheers!

Thank you for being part of the Fork in the Road Blogs: Reflections on Life. Be sure to look out for the next episode when I will be writing about Sorry and Thank you. And if you gathered something useful, please feel free to share the blog. My book, Fork in the Road: Creating a future of value starting from where you are is available for purchase at Aristoc bookshops in Kampala and online at Amazon. Watch out for my forthcoming book A View Round the Bend. Setting goals for your life’s journey